Sandstorm

*Tip: Play the song in the video while reading this. Trust me.*

"Sometimes fate is like a small sandstorm that keeps changing directions. You change direction but the sandstorm chases you. You turn again, but the storm adjusts. Over and over you play this out, like some ominous dance with death just before dawn. 

Why? Because this storm isn't something that blew in from far away, something that has nothing to do with you. 

This storm is you. Something inside of you. 

So all you can do is give in to it, step right inside the storm, closing your eyes and plugging up your ears so the sand doesn't get in, and walk through it, step by step. There's no sun there, no moon, no direction, no sense of time. Just fine white sand swirling up into the sky like pulverized bones. That's the kind of sandstorm you need to imagine.

An you really will have to make it through that violent, metaphysical, symbolic storm. No matter how metaphysical or symbolic it might be, make no mistake about it: it will cut through flesh like a thousand razor blades. 

People will bleed there, and you will bleed too. Hot, red blood. You'll catch that blood in your hands, your own blood and the blood of others.

And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. 

But one thing is certain. 

When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

From "Kafka on the Shore" by Haruki Murakami

Sworn Enemy

This day has finally come.

I've always wanted to find out, but I've been so afraid to find out the truth. But this can't go on forever.

I approached him hesitantly, still having doubts, fear dragging my feet.

"Come on, girl. Pluck up your courage, and step up to the plate! It's your turn to swing the bat!" 

For some unknown reason all these baseball analogies kept coming into my head, even though I'm neither a fan nor a player. Anyway, let's put that aside for now.

*Puts it aside.*

And so, I decided to step up to the plate. I swallowed hard, and tried to remain calm as he approached closer. I could hear my heart pounding a staccato tempo in my ears and rapidly speeding up, blood rushing like the Niagara Falls. He kept on moving closer. I squeezed my eyes shut, anxiety and apprehension doing funny things to my stomach. Somewhere in my fogged-up brain, I was screaming: "Stop! Don't move anymore! Just stop right there! I can't stand this any more! If you move any closer, I'd..."

My thoughts screeched to a halt as he stopped. I opened my eyes, and peeked. He finally stopped. Did he hear my inner thoughts? Am I actually telepathic?

Nope. He just stopped because he's reached it. He's reached that number, that horrible number which determines my weight. I took a quick look at the number, cringed, took another look, then stepped off the bathroom scales. 

Looks like I'm not going to be able to have any Ben and Jerry's for a while. Sigh.

Now I know why my housemate kept saying that if I buy a bathroom scale, she'll destroy it on sight. They are women's sworn enemy. 

Romantic Penguins

Penguins are not only beautiful but are very romantic when it comes to proposing their mates. There are basically two charming traditions that surrounds the story related to love and proposal of penguins. Also they are among those rare animals who choose their mates for life.

Story #1:

When a male penguin falls in love with a female penguin, he searches the entire beach to find the perfect pebble and when he finally finds it, he waddles over to her chosen one and places the pebble right in front of her feet. If she picks the peddle, it means she accept the proposal.

Story#2:

During the mating season penguins gather on the beaches with a pebble in their possession. Each penguin will present his/her perfect pebble to the mate he or she most desires. If the pebble is accepted, they are mates for life.

Reference:

Yes I Know That website. URL: http://www.yesiknowthat.com/do-you-know-how-penguin-propose/. Accessed 21 Feb 2013. (blame my coursework for this. Now I've got citation OCD)

Penguins are more romantic than some humans. Plus, they're much MUCH more loyal than many guys. Maybe I should marry a penguin?

 *starts hunting for pebbles, then remembers that the guys is the one supposed to do that and sighs, resigning herself to waiting*

When will I get a pebble?

Endlessly

I am in love. 

He isn't handsome, I would say he's more of the cute kind.

He is taller than me, but not by much, just average. 

Not muscular or buff at all, not too skinny, just average. 

He doesn't look strong at all. But he can throw a good punch when he needs to.

He isn't athletic, or extremely smart, just average.

He's not rich, nor poor, just average.

I am in love, with his endless, endless kindness. 

His endless, endless desire to protect the ones he love, 
      sometimes at the expense of hurting himself.

His endless, endless desire to help others, 
      even when it may put him to a lot of trouble. 

His endless, endless spirit of giving, 
      even to those who never gave him anything.

His endless, endless heartfelt gratitude of those who care for him, 
      and how he cherishes them so preciously, so preciously in return.

His endless, endless way of always trying to see the good in people, 
      even when they were cruel to him.

His endless, endless strength when faced with adversity,
      even when his heart is crying out in pain.

His endlessly, endlessly gentle smile and warm heart.

I am endlessly, endlessly in love.

Dedicated to Natsume Takashi.

Conversations

Assalamualaikum, Peace be Upon You, oh reader.

17 likes and 6 Yes, plus one jokingly (I hope) said No. That's what my Facebook friends responded to when I asked "Should I start writing a blog?"

So here I am.

I think even if no one responded, by asking that question, half my heart was determined to start writing one anyway. I just wanted to see how people would respond (surveying the market? my future audience perhaps), but then again, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't interested about actually doing it.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking a lot about: Conversation.

Why do people have conversations? Why do people initiate contact with others? Start asking questions? 

It may seem like an odd question. Of course we have conversations, we're people, we're social creatures, if we don't talk, we go crazy. Especially womenfolk, who have that ridiculous quota of 20,000 words a day or something, so short of talking to yourself or inanimate objects, you'd have to talk to someone else, hence having a conversation.

But it isn't as simple as that. To put it more clearly, why do we have conversations with certain people instead of others? That's an even more ridiculous question, you say. Obviously because we're closer to that person (either geographically, or emotionally), or because we like that person better, or because we have common interests with that person, and the list goes on. 

But after much thought, I think we can summarise all these reasons into one word: INTEREST.

If you are not interested in a person, if you have no interest in what they have to say, or no curiosity about them, you wouldn't bother asking. Well, except in situations where you're forced to talk to someone, like in a introductory session where they forcibly pair you with a stranger, or when you're practising taking a history from your friend (medics reference, sorry), or out of politeness in a bus with the over-friendly elderly person sitting next to you. 

Which is why people (especially girls) get angry when you don't listen to them when they're having a conversation with you; it shows a lack of interest.

And no one wants to be uninteresting.

It's also a good way of knowing whether a person is interested in you, if they initiate a conversation with you, then it's a pretty good sign. (And when they never do initiate a conversation, feel free to fall into the depths of despair, like I once did :P)

So, really, one of the easiest methods to make people happy is by showing interest in them, by starting a conversation. You'll never know what you'll find out in return, or what great company you may discover. 

And if someone starts a conversation with you, appreciate it and respond well, because it means they find you interesting, and they want to know you better. 

Annnndddd, (this is my major point really) if someone always initiates the conversation first, please do try to start the conversation next time. It's unfair (and slight pathetic) to always be the one starting the conversation with someone who never takes the initiative. It makes them feel kinda sad and desperate, because their interest is never returned, and makes them feel ignored. 

So please try taking the first step in your next conversation, be it with a stranger or with a friend whom you never did start one with. It may mean the world to them.

To end my first blog entry, I shall share a song about the stuff that make up conversations: Words by The Bee Gees. Thank you for reading!


“Ah, good conversation - there's nothing like it, is there? The air of ideas is the only air worth breathing.” 
― Edith Wharton, The Age of Innocence