Sunday, October 20, 2013

Acceptance.

After a long hiatus during the summer holidays, I couldn't decide on what to write for my "comeback" to blogging, which inevitably resulted in an even longer hiatus. But today, I was inspired by another blogger's brilliant article (and a couple of other amazing articles I read today) to get my fingers running on my keyboard again.

This was something I thought about in the shower. Now don't belittle a shower or a toilet inspiration; P. Ramlee once famously said that he got his best ideas while he was in the loo. So, one day in the shower, I had a song in my head. An old 90's song, and the lyrics went like this:

Don't you ever say
You don't like the way you are
When you learn to love yourself
You're better off by far

And I hope you always stay the same
'Cause there's nothing 'bout you I would change

I love the song, and the lyrics are really uplifting, telling you to believe in yourself (such a Disney feeling) and how you should love yourself. Don't get me wrong, I agree with loving yourself and being confident. 

But it got me thinking, would I ever say that there is ABSOLUTELY nothing that I would change about someone, and actually mean it? And should anyone be saying that?

I always think that since we are never perfect, we always have room for improvement, and hence there is ALWAYS something we would (and perhaps should) change about ourselves to make us into better people. So, yes, there is something, maybe a couple of things, that I would change about you, and about me, and about everyone really.

It makes me sound like such a judgemental and unaccepting person. :/

But if you love and care for someone, you would want that person to be the best they can be, and want more out of life for them, right? That's why mums push us to go for ballet, piano, and swimming as a kid even though we hated them. So it's not that we don't accept that person, obviously we accept them that's why we love them; but we know they've got so much more potential, and we want them to be the best they can be.

Acceptance, to me, is not just about accepting a person for who they are right now, flaws and all. It's also about accepting them for who they may be in future, and how they would change, and loving them nevertheless. 

It's definitely not an easy thing to do. 

And I think part of accepting and loving someone, it's wanting them to accept that they can be so much more, but that even if they don't get better, they would still be loved and accepted. In that sense, acceptance is dynamic, and can change, just as humans do. Just because I accept you now, might not mean I accept you forever. 

So if someone tells me that they can accept all that I am, and expect me never to change, that's not really acceptance. People change, it is human nature. All that we can do is decide which way we change, and re-evaluate our acceptance. After all, relationships need work to stay functional, just as a car needs to be maintained to stay in working order.

And that's okay. It keeps things interesting :)

Here's that song for you to sing in the shower: